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Our friendly local telephone monopoly, Qwest, has announced that it will use what it knows about us in order to get us to spend more money with Qwest.
To be fair, note that if you enjoy please hold until
the next service representative is available
messages,
you can call Qwest toll-free at 877-628-3732 and request
that your information be kept private. They'll doubtless
handle that with the same efficiency they've demonstrated
on installation and repair orders.
What information are we talking about here?
According to the brochure that came with my last
telephone bill, Account information includes details
about your service, such as how many lines you have;
features you may subscribe to or use...; as well as calling
and billing records. For toll calls that you are billed
for, the information includes the number the call comes
from, the number it goes to and how many minutes the call
takes.
There's no mention of unlisted numbers when Qwest
explains that your name, address and telephone number
are not generally considered confidential account
information.
Where would this information go? We expect to share
information with Qwest companies
such as the wireless,
directory and long-distance divisions. And, we may
provide account information ... to firms that have
marketing arrangements with us.
So, if Qwest acquires new subsidiaries, or if it cuts marketing deals with other companies, then it can sell our telephone records.
It's already difficult to be sure which companies are
connected with Qwest. For instance, if you sign up for
Qwest DSL service, you get an account on msn.com, as in
MicroSoft Network, and so presumably Microsoft has a
marketing arrangement
with Qwest and would be
entitled to use your telephone records.
As for Qwest subsidiaries, there are some that don't get listed in the formal corporate structure.
For instance, Qwest acquired the assets of US West. My
state senator, Republican Ken Chlouber of Leadville, in
1999 observed that the Colorado General Assembly is
brought to you by US West.
So our legislature was
presumably one of the US West assets that came under Qwest
when the companies merged.
Qwest certainly brought similar assets of its own to the deal; one of its major stockholders is Denver billionaire Phil Anschutz, who could list our entire state government as an asset. For instance, in his days as a railroad baron, he wrangled some tax exemptions on the grounds that they would keep some good jobs in Colorado -- the jobs have long gone, but the tax breaks remain.
Put all this together, and I can imagine an evening at home in the near future when I thought I was going to veg out and just watch some TV. The telephone rings.
May I speak to Mr. Quinlan? Senor Keeyane?
Immediately I know it's a telemarketer, since they're
the only people in American incapable of pronouncing
Quillen. I'm sorry, I'm not interested. Besides, I
signed up for the no-call program.
Sir, that doesn't cover companies that you have an
established business relationship with, and you do have a
business relationship with Qwest, and thus the Qwest Family
of Fine Corporations. So don't even think about hanging up
on me -- if you recall, in 2002 the Colorado General
Assembly made it a felony to interfere with
telecommunication operations since it could compromise
homeland security.
Then the spiel starts. Mr. Quillen, we noticed that
you've made several calls in recent weeks to Ecuador, and
that you also visited several Quito sites when you were on
the World Wide Web last week. Our associates at Qwest
Travel Services would be happy to help you plan your trip
to the Andes.
It was just research for a magazine article, and I was about to explain, then thought again: my writing work isn't any of some stranger's business. But there was no time to say anything, anyway.
We also noticed that earlier this evening, you
ordered pizza from some local joint owned by a friend of
yours. Qwest InstaFood Products offers a large thick or
thin crust, your choice of up to three toppings, delivered
to your for $8.99. Would you like to sign up for a
delivery tomorrow?
No I wouldn't.
Mr. Quillen, we don't like your attitude. And
besides, we notice you've been surfing the web and sending
email with uncertified software products that have not been
authorized or developed by the Qwest-Microsoft Partnership
for World Domination. Further violations of our access
policy will lead to termination of your access
rights.
I slam the phone down, and then wonder where I'll go. The police will be coming any minute, and they'll know the phone numbers, and thus the names and addresses, of everyone I've talked to in the past year.
But that's just the price of progress, I decide, and I know it doesn't pay to stand in the way of the progress of the Anschutz fortune.
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