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Since water (or the lack thereof) has been in the news so much this summer, and because Colorado has been attracting thousands of new residents who are not familiar with our peculiar institutions, it's no surprise that my correspondence frequently includes questions about water terminology.
If you want a clear and reasonably understandable
explanation of hydraulic matters in the Centennial State,
find $10 and send it to the League of Women Voters of
Colorado at 1410 Grant St. B-204, Denver CO 80203, and ask
them to send you a booklet called Colorado Water.
It's the best introduction I've ever seen. If you call them
at 303-863-0437 and ask politely, they may even mail you
one with an invoice.
However, you may be a cheapskate. Plus, there are water terms in common use which do not appear in the League's glossary. Thus you might need to learn these definitions:
Water Buffalo: A member of Colorado's water establishment who believes that water is wasted if it happens to be flowing down a river, especially toward California, rather than diverted into a ditch or stored in a reservoir. The term is not considered an insult by Water Buffaloes, who will often proudly identify themselves as such.
Although there is no formal antonym, the opposite of a
Water Buffalo might be an environmentalist,
angler,
or taxpayer who wonders why we should pay
for water projects that benefit only real-estate
developers.
Cusec: A portmanteau word formed from cubic feet per
second,
which is also a cfs.
Commonly, this is
used to indicate flow or diversion rates, as in The
river's down to 220 cusecs and it was running at 600 this
time last year.
The cfs
has something in common
with the ufo
in that no one has really seen
either.
ET: This is not related to the ufo
just
mentioned. It's short for Evapotranspiration,
and it
refers to the water that plants suck out of the ground with
their roots, and then lose to the atmosphere. It's why the
air is usually cooler around green plants. The ET rate
depends on temperature, humidity, solar intensity, foliage
composition, ground moisture and so many other factors that
it is essentially guesswork, even though numbers that look
precise are often bandied about.
Burec: Another portmanteau, this one a compression of
the United States Bureau of Reclamation. Synonyms include
Reclamation,
BOR,
and just plain
Bureau.
It is a federal agency which builds dams and
conduits for water, almost always at a financial loss to
taxpayers. It is highly esteemed by many Westerners,
especially those who hate the federal government and/or
welfare programs.
Phreatophyte: A good word for impressing your friends
and neighbors with your water wisdom. A phreatophyte is a
plant with deep roots that sucks water out of the ground,
like a cottonwood tree. You will not find it a bit easier
to remember this when you know that it comes from the Greek
phrear,
which means water well,
and
phyte,
which means plant.
Zeroscaping: Generally, the real-estate agent who
advertises a house with zeroscaping
means that the
yard has xeriscaping
-- a yard designed for minimal
water consumption. The word was most likely coined a few
years ago by the Denver Water Board (now simply known as
Denver Water), and it comes from the Greek xeris,
which means dry,
and scape,
which means
scenery.
On the other hand, a zeroscape
might be an honest
but euphemistic way to say that this yard is just
gravel, dust and weeds.
Defending Colorado's Water: A phrase often used to justify using public money for a private benefit. For instance, farmers along the Arkansas river near the state line once pumped too much water out of wells, thereby depriving Kansas of water it was supposed to get.
On the grounds of defending Colorado's water,
our
state treasury, rather than the farmers who profited from
this theft, is paying the damages to Kansas. It is best to
put your hand over your wallet whenever you hear this
phrase.
Paper Water: This is something like a storage credit in
a distant reservoir, as opposed to Wet Water,
which
is a liquid for drinking, bathing, irrigation, etc.
Water Right: A form of property in Colorado, except that it is not taxed. Water rights come in many varieties, among them conditional, adjudicated, diversion, consumptive, non-consumptive, instream, domestic and in-house, to name a few. If you have trouble with these, then you need a
Water Lawyer: An attorney who specializes in either protecting the water rights you thought you already owned free and clear, or in acquiring water rights so that he can charge you to defend those water rights in the future.
It is often said that of all the water lawyers on earth, half of them practice in Colorado. That probably explains why nobody really understands our water.
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