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Some pundits analyze coming elections by reading polls, examining tea leaves, even talking to voters. I prefer yard signs. If you see a Democrat's sign in a Republican yard (something you know in a little town), it portends a bad year for the GOP, just as a Republican sign at a Democratic household indicates a weak Democratic candidate.
So far, I haven't seen any distinctive partisan trends among the yard signs in Chaffee County. But one factor has caught my eye, so I feel safe in observing that this is the most non-partisan campaign in memory.
By non-partisan, I don't mean that Emily Tracy, the Democratic candidate for the local statehouse seat, isn't campaigning hard against Lola Spradley, the Republican whose district we just got shoved into by our wise rulers in Denver.
No, by non-partisan I mean that no candidate appears to want to be associated with a party. I've examined some signs closely while walking our dog, and others get a glance while I'm driving. In no case have I seen a party affiliation on any sign.
Just what this portends will require more sophisticated analysis than I can provide. Last Thursday afternoon, I passed the no-party-mentioned campaign signs at the highway junction north of town, and started feeling patriotic.
Why not? From appearances, we will be allowed to elect our own officials, rather than have them appointed by William Rehnquist. The aspen were gloriously aglow on the flanks of the immense Sawatch Range peaks that glistened with fresh snow. Traffic was minimal. The Blazer was rattling less than usual, so I could hear the Lou Reed and John Prine songs on my custom road-trip recording, and even an unemployable like me could go visit a major-party candidate for Congress. What a great country.
Reality intervened when I saw a State Trooper up the road and decided to slow down, which gave me time to think. The mountains were gorgeous, but there are people who want to charge us for the view. The music I was enjoying was doubtless in violation of some copyright or other law. And even if Curtis Imrie is a major-party candidate for the United States House of Representatives, I've got a better chance of getting elected to the College of Cardinals than he has of going to Congress in January.
Curtis is the Democratic candidate in the Fifth Congressional District, which dates back to the 1970 census. Bill Armstrong was a power in the state legislature then. With an eye to running for Congress, he designed the Fifth as the safest Republican seat in America, and it has stayed that way ever since. No Democrat has ever been elected, or even come close, in the Fifth. It's a classic rotten borough, and I'm still trying to figure out what crime we committed up here to get put into a non-competitive district dominated by the right-thinkers of Colorado Springs.
Of course, you could say much the same thing about the First District, which is basically Denver. It hasn't elected a Republican since 1970, when the Democrats tore themselves apart in a primary. Despite the Nixon Republican landslide in 1972, Pat Schroeder got elected, and the First has been Democratic ever since.
The Democratic First and the Republican Fifth do have something in common this year -- the challengers are both experts at working with jackasses. Both Curtis Imrie in the Fifth, and Ken Chlouber in the First, are pack-burro racers; politically, they ran against each other for the state house of representatives in 1994. Ken's already been out campaigning with his donkeys, and Curtis will be visiting the Springs with some equines this month.
Granted, the donkey is the symbol of the Democratic party, but that's only in political cartoons. These days, if you had to pick a pack animal to symbolize the Democratic party in Colorado, it would be a llama, since that's what upscale environmentalists deploy when they go packing into the wilderness.
For reasons unknown to me, llamas are politically correct these days, and burros are not. Neither species is indigenous, so it's not that. Maybe it's because llamas are used only for recreation, which is an acceptable way to exploit the landscape, while the Colorado burro, which can carry twice as much as a llama, has a working heritage, hauling firewood for campesinos and supplies for prospectors and otherwise assisting humans in getting a livelihood from a hard land.
Some of us would feel better if Colorado Democrats were more connected to the party symbol -- whenever someone tells me We need a third party,'' I'm tempted to ask Why don't we start with a second party?''
Even so, Curtis and I had a good talk on a splendid fall day at his small burro ranch at the base of Mt. Columbia. We were, however, often interrupted by braying.
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