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In the middle of June every year, Salida holds the
FIBArk festival. Just what FIBArk stands for, and precisely
how to punctuate it (FIBARK, FIB-Ark, Fibark, etc.), are
matters of some contention. The most common theory is that
it's an acronym for First In Boating -- Arkansas river
kayaking.
It began in 1949 as a kayak race down the Arkansas River from Salida to Cañon City. That's about 60 miles, and the early contestants said it was more a test of endurance than white-water skill, so it was shortened with a new finish line in Cotopaxi.
In the 1950s, many competitors came from Europe. Kayaks were so exotic in this country that the D&RGW RR ran special spectator trains. Now there are no more trains above the Royal Gorge, and kayaks and related small boats are common sights throughout Colorado -- so common that cities are building special parks for them.
FIBArk has grown from a Sunday paddling race to four or five days of foot races, raft races, hooligan race (open to anything that floats that's not a boat), kayak slalom competitions, bands in the park, craft and food booths, a traveling carnival, an hour-long parade and more.
FIBArk -- which starts Thursday -- has generated a fair amount of local controversy this year. The event is run by a non-profit corporation with a board of directors. The directors agreed to sell their only real asset -- a small building near the river used as a boat house and event headquarters -- to another board member for a price slightly below the appraised value.
This has inspired more petitions and local controversy
than the Iraq war ever did, and it has evoked some other
criticism from people who fear that FIBArk is changing from
a community celebration to a commercial event. The main
point of that argument is that spell it as you may, it's no
longer just FIBArk -- it's Blue Paddle FIBArk.
That's because the New Belgium Brewery in Fort Collins paid for the sponsorship to promote Blue Paddle Pilsner. As a beer fan, I can speak favorably of New Belgium's products. I sampled them extensively during the Brewers' Rendezvous here a couple of years ago. So extensively, in fact, that the six-block walk home seemed as challenging as an Everest ascent.
We've got the Blue Paddle FIBArk races going by the Coors River Access downtown. So far, that's tolerable, but in this time of strapped public budgets, you have to wonder how far these sponsorships might go.
Given that the federal government is now running the largest annual deficits in the history of the world, perhaps Congress should start soliciting bids for national holidays and celebrations.
Why settle for a mere Fathers Day
next Sunday
when we could have a Black & Decker Fathers Day
?
Or perhaps a Smith & Wesson Fathers Day,
a
Checker Auto Parts Fathers Day,
or a Major League
Baseball Fathers Day,
depending on who came up with the
highest bid.
Mother's Day would likely turn into Hallmark Mothers
Day,
although there would be spirited competition to
make it AT&T Mothers Day
or MCI Mothers
Day.
At the calendar turned, we might see the Smirnoff New
Year's Eve
followed by Alka-Seltzer New Year's
Day.
Our planet's largest retailer is a natural sponsor
for the Wal-Mart Holiday Shopping Season
which would
start in mid-October and run until Dec. 25.
In the process, it would overwhelm the intervening
American Costume & Mask Company All Hallow's
Eve,
the New Mexico Tourism Promotion Board El Dia
De Los Muertos,
the An-Army-Of-One Be-All-You-Can-Be
Veterans Day
and the Butterball-Safeway Thanksgiving
Day.
Indeed, next month we could celebrate
Halliburton-Raytheon Independence Day,
complete with
Diamond Match Fireworks Displays.
As for smaller local celebrations like our FIBArk here,
most of them should also be able to find sponsors to help
defray expenses. Leadville could celebrate Hercules
Powder Boom Days
every August and Saguache might host
the Stanley Tool Hand-Made Fair
in September.
Fairplay could whoop it up during the Democratic
National Committee Burro Days
in July, and if the
Republicans wanted equal time, then there could be an added
Republican Pachyderm Days
celebration -- and hey,
I'd go to watch elephants race up and down Mosquito Pass.
Fruita might get more visitors with a Tyson Foods Mike
the Headless Chicken Days,
and Heeney might do better
with an Off-Repellent Tick Festival.
Please note that if any of these sponsorships come
through, I want a cut of the proceeds. Then I won't have to
sell out and try to persuade the Post into running the
Chicony Keyboard Co. Ed Quillen column.
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