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Our legislature starts a new session tomorrow, and we might well hope that it picks up where the last one left off.
Granted, the 2003 session ended in an uproar, but let us
recall the wisdom of one of America's great philosophers,
Henry David Thoreau, who stated That government is best
which governs least.
His colleague Ralph Waldo Emerson
felt the same way: The less government we have, the
better.
In other words, the less the legislature accomplishes, the fewer laws. That translates into less government, and thus our greater happiness.
The 2003 session was noisy, but what really happened? They put Referendum A on the ballot, where it lost in every county, and they passed a midnight gerrymander which was quickly overturned by the state supreme court.
So, nothing really happened as a result of the last session, and we're none the worse off. We may not be so fortunate this time around, however, especially if the General Assembly manages to enact one of these possibilities:
· An Act for the Protection of Wimps at Institutions of Higher Education. Certain college students have whined that they are made to feel uncomfortable on account of their political views. This nation was been founded by men who boldly risked being hanged for their political views, but times have changed.
This bill requires each college receiving state funds to
set up a Campus Conservative Coddling Center
and to
staff it with attorneys who will threaten to sue
un-cooperative faculty members under some obscure federal
law. Un-cooperative faculty
are defined as those who
do not automatically give the highest possible grade to any
of their students who speak highly of State Sen. John
Andrews.
· Air Quality Preservation and Enhancement Legislation. This would allow the state or any of its political subdivisions (towns, counties, cities) to ban the burning of wood for household heat, since it could cause a deterioration in air quality. Further, the people who heat with wood are not supporting the oil and gas industry the way that good citizens should, which means that their loyalty is suspect.
· Official English Assistance. Ever since Colorado adopted English as its official language, concerned citizens have been looking to the state for guidance, only to be disappointed.
Now, however, the state will begin to provide linguistic
assistance. For instance, the official adjectival form of
the other party
is now officially Democrat,
rather than Democratic,
as in the Democrat
party.
And we no longer need to use the old locution
common schools,
or the more contemporary phrase
public schools
-- henceforth, they will all be
government schools.
· Juvenile Literary Protection Act. Our leaders have already acted to prevent children from using libraries to view certain portions of the Internet.
However, the children need more protection. A recent announcement from the FBI reveals that people who spend too much time looking at almanacs could fit a terrorist profile, and the sad fact is that some of our schools have been teaching children how to use almanacs as reference material.
If this continues, those children will be at risk of getting arrested and being held as enemy combatants. To protect Colorado children from this fate, this new law will make it a felony to sell, lend, or otherwise make available reference works to children under 18 in the state of Colorado.
· Subdivider and Developer Bill of Rights. In past years, the General Assembly has refused to pass a law which would make it more difficult for developers to sue their critics. The process is known as SLAPP -- Strategic Lawsuit Against Public Participation -- and it's a good way to silence your critics.
Just as soon as they start exercising their right to petition, you sue them for a few million to shut them up.
The General Assembly approves of this, since it hasn't passed any anti-SLAPP bills, but even so, some projects have been delayed, or even killed, by mere citizens.
We all know that this must change for Colorado to enjoy a favorable business climate, and thus this new law, which will make it a criminal offence to criticize a development proposal, and require prosecutors to drop all other pleadings to pursue a developer's complaint in a timely manner.
That's only a start on the possibilities if our legislature started to function in an efficient and organized way -- and that's why we should hope that it's politics as usual this session, so that nothing gets done.
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