< PREVIOUS ]   [ 2004 Index ]   [ Ed Quillen HOME ]   [ SEARCH ]   [ NEXT >


Bills they didn't introduce this year

Published 4 May 2004 in The Denver Post.
Copyright ©2004 by Ed Quillen. All rights reserved.

Our legislature is in the last days of its session, but it has not solved the state's fiscal problems. Even so, we should be grateful that certain bills that were never passed, nor even introduced -- even though some representatives and senators must have thought about them.

For instance, after the failure of Referendum A last year, Sen. Jim Dyer of Littleton and his colleagues must have yearned for some water legilsation. Yet no one introduced the Statewide Water Conservation and Supply Act of 2004.

Under it, every current water user in the state would have been required to cut consumption by 10 percent each year until either the State Climatologists Office had certified that the drought had concluded, or consumption had dropped to the level of bodily dehydration.

(Runners, coffee hounds, and other voracious personal water consumers would have to purchase $10 annual permits from their local water service agencies, or keep receipts to demonstrate to the Colorado Water Consumption Board that their excess usage came from imported bottled water, and thus was not subject to state regulation.)

All water thus saved would become property of the new Front Range Water Conservation District, to be stored and delivered for continued development in Arapahoe, Douglas and Elbert counties.

A supporter of the bill explained that The people who move into these new suburbs will become our fellow citizens, and we need to insure they have water. This is just our statewide way of being good neighbors, and who could be against that?

Another bill that was not introduced was A Bill for An Act to Provide for Continuous Census and Redistricting in Order to Insure Fairness in Representation.

A spokesperson for Sen. John Andrews, a Centennial Republican, explained that the idea was a good one.

We have this fiction that the population stays the same for the ten years between federal censuses, she explained, and of course that's not true. Just since the 2000 census, the population of El Paso County has grown by 40,000 or so. Douglas County has gained 50,000 or more, and Arapahoe at least 30,000.

Under the current system, those new people -- almost all of them decent, hard-working Republicans -- will not get represented in Denver or in Washington until the state redistricts after the 2010 federal census. That's so totally unfair.

The new system, which may be put on the fall general-election ballot, would have the state conduct a census on Jan. 1 of each year, with the legislature then drawing new boundaries with sober and prudent deliberation during the last three days of each session.

Perhaps the most controversial bill that did not get into any hopper was a majority-party proposal that some wag called Economic Cleansing.

A far-sighted plan that could have solved the state's economic problems, it would set a minimum annual household income of $200,000 to qualify for residency in Colorado.

Those who did not meet financial standards would be exiled to Loup County, Neb., which has plenty of room since it's been losing population since 1910 and now has only 712 residents. Loup County might welcome poor Coloradans, since it has the lowest per-capita income of any county in America.

If that were in place, an anonymous analyst explained, then the state's budget crisis could be solved overnight.

A huge percentage of the state's budget goes to public education, he said, and if all households made more than $200,000, then they could all send their children to private grade schools, high schools and colleges. The state wouldn't have to spend a nickel on education. We could eliminate that drain on the treasury

But that was just a start on the savings. Colorado citizens could all drive Hummers, so our state wouldn't have to plow or maintain roads. Such citizens could buy any books or magazines they wanted, so there would be no need for expensive public libraries.

Plus, they can afford really good lawyers, so they seldom go to prison, no matter what they do. So we could rent our penal facilities to other states, and turn this expense into a revenue source. And we won't need welfare, social services or medical-assistance programs. social services agencies.

There was more, but the analyst had trouble explaining where the fortunate Coloradans of the future would find nannies, janitors, cooks and chauffeurs. Nonetheless, this proposal has so much potential for fixing the state budget that it will doubtless get serious consideration in the next session.


< PREVIOUS ]   [ 2004 Index ]   [ Ed Quillen HOME ]   [ SEARCH ]   [ NEXT >