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I want my raunchy TV

Published 28 November 2004 in The Denver Post.
Copyright ©2004 by Ed Quillen. All rights reserved.

If I am home tonight and not otherwise occupied, I plan to watch Desperate Housewives, as usual. It is sharp and wicked funny, and besides, I like raunchy entertainment.

Granted, there are people who do not, and they are fond of complaining about how America is being debased and debauched. And I am sick of their whining.

When I was a kid, there were no remote controls for TV sets; you had to get up and cross the room.

Today, you can control the set from your couch just by aiming the remote and moving your fingers. It is far easier to change the channel, or to turn the set off and read a good book, than it ever has been. No one holds a gun to anyone's head and says Watch this or else, and if I see your eyelids droop, you're toast.

So why all the squawking? And why does anyone take these complaints seriously, since no matter what you put in front of the public, it will annoy somebody?

Politically, the pressure for purity comes from both left and right. The left-wing puritans attack ethnic jokes as hate speech, and the mildest double entendre can contribute to a hostile work-place environment. They hate humor, perhaps because they're scared that sane people will start laughing at how inane they are.

The right-wing puritans hold considerable power these days, and they boast about it. Just check with one of their prominent organizations, the American Family Association.

If the AFA wanted to urge its member families to do something else on Sunday night, like go to church, play a board game or volunteer at a homeless shelter, that would be one thing.

But instead, the AFA tells its followers to send messages, via telephone and email, to firms that advertise on Desperate Housewives, explaining how they are supporting a show that fails to protect children.

To some degree, this works. After the AFA assault started last month, Lowe's and Tyson announced they would quit advertising on the show, and Con Agra, although it made no formal announcement, had quit advertising its packaged foods.

Then OneMillionDads.com, an AFA subsidiary, boasts about how it has advanced righteousness by attacking advertisers on Desperate Housewives, along with many other programs, ranging from Footlocker on South Park to State Farm Insurance on Law and Order.

Why do they do this? We do not tell them what to watch, hear or read, so why do they feel compelled to try to control what we see and hear?

As the AFA explained in its attack on a cross-promotion for Desperate Housewives on ABC Monday Night Football Tens of thousands of young children tuned to ABC expecting a football game. Instead, they got a despicable pornographic scene.

What do you see at a pro football game? Painted half-naked drunk guys in the stands. Provocative gyrations from scantily clad cheerleaders on the sidelines. Intense violence and wrenching injury on the field. This is what a pro-family organization thinks is good for children?

But I don't care. I'm an adult. I pay for my TV set and the satellite service. I can handle Saving Private Ryan, Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction and Desperate Housewives. I know how to change channels or to turn it off for Howard Stern.

Unlike the millions of lazy American parents who expect their TV sets to rear their children, my wife and I did not put a TV set in our daughters' bedrooms. We kept our TV right out in plain sight, and when our kids turned to something unsuitable, we turned it off.

Sure, sometimes our kids sampled questionable fare while visiting friends. They'd tell us all about it, how one family watched MTV all the time and another watched really gross movies. Our goal was not to shield our children from the world and thereby make them ignorant and vulnerable. It was to help them develop a sense of what was right and wrong and worthy.

Maybe more parents should try that approach, instead of expecting TV networks to raise their children for them, and thus demanding that all American adults to be treated like children. Why can't they spend some time with their own children, instead of trying to control what the rest of us watch?


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