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Jobs for the language police

Published 30 January 2005 in The Denver Post.
Copyright ©2005 by Ed Quillen. All rights reserved.

The other day, the radio was on and the announcer said that we were coming up on the ten o'clock hour. As the day went on, there were similar horologic proclamations, and the word hour was always involved, as in It's twenty minutes after the three o'clock hour.

I can't figure out why they have to phrase it that way. What's wrong with twenty minutes after three o'clock? I've asked people in the radio business why they make it the three o'clock hour, and the answer is always that they were taught to do so, but no one ever told them why.

That's just a minor linguistic annoyance, although it has plenty of company. For instance, why does the weather forecaster always talk about a storm event instead of a mere storm?

I understand why Hollywood publicists want us to talk about the motion picture event of the year -- they get paid well to promote their products, and a motion picture event sounds much more significant than a mere movie. However, those of us who care about what the weather will be a few days hence will heed the warning of a storm, and do not need it exaggerated into a storm event.

To move on, not only the language gets abused in automotive ads. Public safety must suffer from their encouragement of fast driving and sharp turning in wretched conditions, and our landscape must suffer from their displays of people driving their new spewts across tundra, prairies, wetlands and similar fragile zones. One variant celebrated a soapbox-derby style racer who cheated by leaving the course.

However, the language that grated most was the encouragement to visit your local Ford store. Everywhere I've lived, there was a Ford garage or a Ford dealer. I suppose the advertising agency came up with store to make it seem easier to buy a new vehicle: While you're out, could you pick up a dozen eggs at the market, and a couple of F-150s at the Ford store?

The emails I receive often contain the solecism The media is ... This error used to be pretty much confined to right-thinkers, but even liberal publications like The Washington Monthly have succumbed; a recent article was headlined How the media helps the insurance industry ...

The word media is the plural of the Latin word medium, just as strata means more than one layer of rock, which is a stratum.

In our language, Latin plurals often evolve into singulars; you seldom hear anyone say the data are inconsistent or Last night's council meeting agenda were confusing, even though data is the plural of datum and agenda is the plural of agendum.

Back to the media. The editor of one of my favorite small-town newspapers, Jonathan Thompson at the Silverton Standard, observed recently that Just as ABC is part of the media, so are the Silverton Standard and the Dove Creek Press. Do you really think we all get together and decide which direction to slant our coverage?

Some people apparently do believe there are such meetings. In 30 years in this business, though, I've never been invited to one. The media include everything from Democracy Now to Fox News, from the blog of the kid down the street to the New York Times, from a club newsletter to the Wall Street Journal.

Lumping them all together as some singular mass obscures the reality that even with all the corporate consolidations, there are more media and more public voices today than ever before.

Denver might have only two daily newspapers now, as opposed to half a dozen a century ago. But back then, there were no radio or television stations, no alternative weeklies, no websites, no cable channels. This growth in media variety is something we might want to celebrate, rather than ignore by saying the media is ...


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