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Places that never were

Published 15 February 2005 in The Denver Post.
Copyright ©2005 by Ed Quillen. All rights reserved.

Several fortnights ago, I received an e-mail from John Andrews, former state senator and 1990 Republican nominee for governor, advising that we would soon be colleagues, for he was going to write columns for the Denver Post.

He thought that I might be tempted to call him an impostor, since he would pretend to be writing from an imaginary mountain town called Backbone, whereas I write from a real one, called Salida.

From what I've read of Backbone, it is inhabited by sturdy folks. Backbonites expect the government to protect them from gay couples and liberal college professors, but don't want the government to protect them from starvation, disease or water raids by the south metro area.

I suspected Backbone might be loosely based on Buena Vista, where Andrews has some boyhood roots. But Buena Vista sits by the river, while Andrews puts his town high atop the Continental Divide. Colorado boasts only one post office on the Divide: Climax, 80429, which has been pretty much a ghost town since Ronald Reagan was president.

Andrews has mentioned another imaginary Colorado town: East Tincup, created in 1951 by Denver radio personality Pete Smythe, who spoke as its mayor.

But there are many other fictional Colorado places. The most influential is probably Galt's Gulch, where the right people sequestered themselves in Ayn Rand's 1957 novel Atlas Shrugged. It was a popular and thought-provoking book, and it plays to a common fantasy -- hiding out in the mountains with the few enlightened people who are just as superior to the common run of humanity as you are.

Where was it? In a letter to a friend, Rand wrote that Ouray was the closest physical cognate, since it was remote and ringed by mountains, although her Galt's Gulch sat in a broader valley.

The best-known imaginary Colorado town today must be South Park, the setting for the cartoon show on Comedy Central. South Park appears to be based on Fairplay. But in the few times I've watched it, I've never seen what I most remember about Fairplay during the TV season -- brutal white-out zero-visibility ground blizzards. One of those should be easy to draw, even for these folks.

Another famous fictional Colorado town now is Holt, out on the high plains. From what I've read about it, it seems to have a full complement of good and bad folks, all interesting. But I have to confess that I haven't read Plainsong or Eventide, even though author Kent Haruf lives near Salida and I've probably stood in line behind him at Safeway.

I've put off that reading because one of my most trustworthy book previewers, my mother, said that the lack of quotation marks annoyed her to no end and would probably drive me batty. She may be right, so I'll postpone that literary foray until I need to feel batty.

My favorite imaginary Colorado town is Wonderful, the setting for Steve Frazee's hilarious 1961 novel More Damn Tourists. Frazee lived here, so I presume that Wonderful was based on Salida -- especially since the more eccentric characters bore an astonishing resemblance to certain people in town. But I'm probably wrong. Steve told me once that it wasn't based on Salida, and some people in Montrose claim that their town is Wonderful.

It can be easy to guess the real city that inspired the fake one. The city of Newlife in Sinclair Lewis's last novel, World so Wide, was obviously Denver, and Shale City in Dalton Trumbo's novels Eclipse and Johnny Got His Gun was certainly Grand Junction. Nor was it difficult to find Silverton in the Baker of David Lavender's novel Red Mountain.

The most prominent of all fictional towns in Colorado is doubtless Centennial, from James Michener's immense 1974 novel of the same name. The imaginary town had to sit about where the real Kersey is, but when tourists started to show up looking for Centennial, Greeley hastened to install a Centennial Village Museum, lest they be disappointed and spend their money elsewhere.

Years after the book came out, Colorado got a real Centennial in 2001. Andrews lives there. It is about 70 miles from the imaginary Centennial in Weld County, but its name may show that life imitates art.

And in that case, there could be a real Backbone, Colo., someday. However, it will doubtless emerge as Backbone Heights, Backbone Terrace, or The Estates at Sierra del Backbone -- whatever works best with the marketing consultant's focus groups.


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