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Back to the Bible

Published 9 May 2006 in the Denver Post.
Copyright ©2006 by Ed Quillen. All rights reserved.

Given our penchant for initiatives, referenda, constitutional amendments and the like, Colorado ballots can be long and confusing. This year's promises to be even more complex than usual, since there could be as many as four marriage-related items.

One is already assured of a spot. It's the Domestic Partnership Benefits and Responsibilities Act, and last week the General Assembly agreed to refer it to us voters. Also called 1344 for its legislative bill number, it would give same-sex couples some rights, such as the ability to make medical decisions for each other and to adopt each other's children.

That is much too fair and humane to suit some Coloradans, and so there are petitions circulating for an amendment to the state constitution to supersede 1344 by forbidding any legal recognition of any status similar to marriage.

To counter that, there's a proposal to protect 1344 by amending the state constitution to declare that the provisions of 1344 are not similar to marriage. And there's another constitutional amendment proposed for the ballot, this one designed to insure a heavy right-thinker turn-out at the polls, that would duplicate a state law defining marriage as the union between one man and one woman.

To recap, we have 1344, a referred domestic-partnership law. We may see the anti-1344 constitutional amendment, the protect-1344 constitutional amendment, and the one-man one-woman constitutional amendment.

The simplest solution to all this is one I proposed several years ago. Enact a domestic-partnership law that applies to all couples, and remove marriage from all state laws.

Why? As the right-thinkers often remind us, marriage is a sacrament. Consider other sacraments, like baptism, confirmation and penance. Thanks to certain enlightened provisions in the state and federal Bills of Rights, the government does not tell churches how to perform these sacraments, nor who may receive them. It's entirely up to the church, as it should be.

So it should also be with marriage. Get your civil union certified at the courthouse, and then visit your church, mosque, temple or ashram if you want a marriage.

This would be easy to implement and would promote separation of church and state. People could go about their lives with minimal state interest in their intimate relationships. The protectors of family values could address real issues that tear families apart, like unemployment and medical bills, and Colorado might be a better place to live.

But that would not be sufficiently polarizing and thus would not enhance certain political careers. Perhaps we could try another approach, though, one that might please just about everybody.

The right-thinkers shouldn't have any trouble with anything named the Colorado Old Testament Marriage Definition Amendment. And even the most libertine should be able to tolerate it after reading the provisions.

Same-sex relationships? King David was a man after God's own heart. David's companion Jonathan, the son of King Saul, died alongside his father in battle. David then lamented that I am distressed for thee, my brother Jonathan: very pleasant hast thou been unto me: thy love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women.

Surrogate partners? The patriarch Abraham had a wife, Sarai (although he sometimes told people that she was really his sister). Sarai was barren, but she had an Egyptian handmaiden, Hagar. Sarai urged Abraham to go into my maid; it may be that I may obtain children by her. And he hearkened to the voice of Sarai.

Premarital sex? The wealthy farmer Boaz found himself captivated by the attractive young widow Ruth. She wondered how to respond to his attention. Her late husband's mother told her to find where he would be resting after a hard day of winnowing barley, and thou shalt go in and uncover his feet, and lay thee down; and he will tell thee what thou shalt do. Now note that feet was almost certainly a euphemism for what she was really supposed to uncover, since Boaz said Let it not be known that a woman came. After he purchased her, they married, and she soon bore a son.

Multiple partners? Among the descendants of Ruth and Boaz was King Solomon, who loved many strange women and had seven hundred wives ... and three hundred concubines.

This could continue indefinitely, but by now the point should be clear -- if the right-thinkers insist on promoting biblical standards, they shouldn't be allow to stop at one verse in Leviticus. Let's put it all on the ballot.


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