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The icebox should goeth

Posted 21 March 2008 on the Goat blog
Copyright ©2008 by High Country News. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Fraser, Colo., is no longer The Icebox of the Nation. Don't blame global warming -- blame International Falls, Minn.

International Falls sits just south of the Canadian border; Fraser is a couple of miles down U.S. 40 from the Winter Park Ski Area. For years, the two towns have battled in court for the trademark to the phrase.

The rivalry between the two cold towns started back in the 1950s, and the legal disputes revolve around which one first described itself as the nation's icebox. In 1986, International Falls got a trademark, and Fraser accepted $2,000 to drop its claim. About a year ago, though, Fraser discovered that International Falls had apparently let its trademark registration lapse, and filed for it.

But in February of this year, International Falls received a federal trademark, and so it is officially The Icebox of the Nation. Fraser has lost its motto.

Why would anybody want this title, aside from perverse bragging rights? It can attract some business as a cold-weather test site for products, as well as other freebies. One year, Fraser residents got free antifreeze for their cars in exchange for naming their main drag, Zerex Street, and in another year, they had free studded snow tires from Goodyear so the company could advertise how well they worked in The Icebox of the Nation.

Even so, real-estate developers around Fraser had suggested dropping the slogan a couple of years ago, since they would rather the town be associated with winter skiing and summer fishing -- President Dwight D. Eisenhower was fond of area creeks half a century ago. I can see their point; it's hard to imagine someone saying Let's buy a condo in place with a annual growing season that's all of four days long. However, traditionalists wanted to keep the icebox motto.

After its victory, International Falls said that Fraser could use the term Icebox of Colorado without infringement, but the truth is that Fraser is likely not even the coldest spot in Grand County, where I lived from 1974 to 1978 while editing the newspaper in Kremmling. Back then, Fraser was a ramshackle sawmill town with perhaps half a dozen business buildings, including the post office.

All of Grand County gets as cold as a banker's heart on winter nights. Lows routinely hit 30 or 40 degrees below zero in January and February. The old-timers said that Tabernash, a couple of miles downriver from Fraser, was the coldest of all. Back in the days of steam locomotives, giant articulated mallets would freeze to the rails as they idled in Tabernash, waiting to help push trains up to the Moffat Tunnel.

However, Tabernash never had an official weather station, so it was nearby Fraser that made the news. If it wasn't Fraser, then it was often Big Piney, Wyo., Cut Bank, Mont., or Gunnison, Colo. Despite the claims of International Falls, the West can hold its own in the icebox competition.

Why is this based on icebox, though? Iceboxes are from a different era. Before electricity and electric refrigerators came along, the icebox kept food cold. It had a compartment on top for the ice (delivered by a man from the local coal and ice company), a food compartment in the middle, and a drain tray on bottom. The ice might have been cut from a local pond during the previous winter and stored in sawdust at the local icehouse, or it could have been produced by mechanical refrigeration.

My dad recalls preferring the latter, since it was clean and clear; pond ice was rather murky and sometimes reeked of decaying fish.

My homesteader grandfather in rural Wyoming once cut his own ice in the winter and stored it in a dug-out. He never had electricity, but by the time I knew him, he had succumbed to the propane-powered refrigerator. He still stored food in his icebox, though -- its insulation and tight doors meant it was the only spot in his kitchen that was impervious to mice and rats.

In other words, the term icebox might remain relevant to a few Amish farmers, but it is meaningless to the vast majority of modern Americans, who have never used an icebox nor seen one outside of an antique store. The household icebox went away with the clinkers from the coal stove and the player piano in the parlor.

Fraser, or any other town that wants to brag on its hard weather, ought to get into the 21st century: The nation's deep freeze, America's longest winter, Home of the cryonic climate, Nobody gets closer to absolute zero, The biggest chill, The super shiver, Ultimate cool -- any of these would work better. Enough with the bygone icebox.


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